Go ahead, drop some F-bombs

It’s really interesting to me how “feminism” is considered such a dirty word.

The other night I was at an event and had a conversation with a really smart, funny accomplished older woman about her career. She made some really interesting observations about how teams composed of roughly equal numbers of men and women seemed to function better than those that were not as balanced, how women have so many opportunities today we didn’t a generation ago….and then said said something that I’ve heard too many times before, but never ceases to surprise me.

Putting her hands out defensively she hastily added “…but I’m not a feminist or anything!”. She said the word the way some say “terrorist”.

Why do so many people think “feminist” is synonymous with “man hating militant psycho”? I had a male mentor who was CEO of a Canadian corporation who would proudly tell anyone he was a feminist. He told me he liked to mentor me because he thought women still had a rough time in business, and he has a daughter so he hoped by investing time in me he’d help pave the way for more equality in the future. There’s no reason why we all shouldn’t be feminists. All it really stands for is equality. Who can’t get behind that?

I think about this a lot in the context of the legal profession. Women have come so far. I met a female lawyer in her 60’s who gave birth to the first baby ever born at this particular “big firm”, and at that time they didn’t even have a maternity plan. It is great how much progress has been made, but it would be nice to see more women as equity partners (right now women comprise only around 9-12% depending on the study).

I think having a more equal world starts and ends with each of us. Sheryl Sandberg said that the “most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry”, and that having a supportive partner makes all the difference in the world in achieving your goals. Being open about wanting more equality for everyone shouldn’t be stigmatized, and it starts with people admitting “hey, I’m a feminist”.

“Feminist” is not a bad word. So go ahead, drop some F-bombs.